The Once Yellow House by Gemma Amor

Author:Gemma Amor [Amor, Gemma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cemetery Gates Media
Published: 2023-03-09T00:00:00+00:00

36.

Diary entry, personal diary of Hope Gloucester

September 22nd, 2020 (2)

I’m so tired. The meeting with the consultant went well, but there was so much information to absorb. I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten most of it. Medical people use a lot of long words and my attention span and short-term memory was never very good.

Anyway, the time approaches. The ambulance is being prepared. We’re going back to the Once Yellow House. It is what Thomas wants. The house has him. Maybe it will always have him. It has burrowed into him like a botfly. I have tried to argue. Tried to get him to see sense. I told him we could sell the bungalow and move, it would be easier while he was in hospital, but he went on strike when I suggested it. He stopped eating for four days until I agreed to take him back there. Four whole days. Ripped all his tubes out, refused his meds too. He is so stubborn. It got to the point where refusing him became worse for his health than just giving in. It’s like being away from the bungalow causes him physical pain. More than he is already in, from the accident.

I have a feeling that putting him back in the Once Yellow House will help him mentally, if not physically as well. Which is something, I suppose. Some small comfort.

When he is better, I can leave him.

I don’t feel like I can abandon him like this. No matter what he did to me in the past. I am better than that.

Besides, there is no-one else to take care of him. His parents are both dead. Mine live thousands of miles away, and there would be no room for them in the bungalow if they came to visit. And I certainly don’t want them to see how we live, even if there was room.

I suppose I could always reach out to his adoring online fans for help but…I’d rather swallow nails than let them into our lives in any real, concrete way. I won’t let them win, no matter how much it impacts my day to day. If I have to be a nurse for him, so be it.

There is still a small amount of money left over from the sale of our old apartment back in the city, which I’ve put towards outstanding medical bills and the hugely expensive cocktail of supplies and medications Thomas needs. I have filled up the car, too, and prepared the house thoroughly for his arrival. The hospital is helping us move him and deliver a special bed and any other equipment we need. I can only hope they don’t see the house and report us to the authorities for neglect or as a public health hazard. I’ve tried to make the place as liveable as possible while Thomas has been convalescing. When not at the hospital, I’ve been scraping paint off of windows, scrubbing walls, sanding floors, filling holes, hacking down weeds, cutting back trees, clearing up trash.

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